From brokenness to restoration. Healing begins with the first step.

What It Means to Have a Broken Heart

For a long time, I’ve carried the desire to write about what it truly means to have a broken heart. I know many single moms will understand this deeply—because when you’re the one holding everything together, it can feel like there’s no space to fall apart.

Broken-heartedness can take many forms. Sometimes it starts in childhood, from a parent who neglected or hurt you in ways that still echo. Other times, it comes from the deep ache of being abandoned by someone who once promised to love you. Whether it’s words never spoken or love withheld, the result is the same—a heart that feels cracked open by disappointment and grief.

That kind of pain runs deep. It creeps in quietly and then overwhelms you without warning—like a wave crashing over your soul. There are days when it feels like it may never end. And if you're honest, there might be moments when you wonder if even God is big enough to step into the ache.

But that is a lie.

Even in your most fragile moments—even when everything inside you feels shattered—God is not only present, He is faithful. He sees every wound, every tear, every silent prayer you didn’t have the strength to finish. And His love? It doesn’t ignore your brokenness—it meets you right in the middle of it.

Step 1: Recognize You Have a Broken Heart

There was a time when I didn’t even realize how deeply I was hurting. I had pushed the pain so far down just to survive. I told myself I was strong, capable, fine. But beneath the surface, I was carrying wounds—wounds from rejection, from silence, from believing that I had to perform or prove my worth to be loved.

Sometimes, broken-heartedness hides behind a smile or behind the drive to be helpful. We throw ourselves into meeting others’ needs, not out of peace, but out of guilt or fear. Deep down, we wonder if love must be earned, if we’ll only be accepted once we’ve done enough. That belief can weigh us down for years—because it’s all we’ve ever known.

The truth is, you can be walking through life doing all the “right” things and still feel hollow inside. Especially when the ache comes from something so personal—like a childhood marked by absence, or a relationship that promised love but ended in abandonment. That kind of pain doesn’t just disappear. It lingers. And it whispers that maybe even God has overlooked you.

But He hasn’t.

Psalm 69:20 (KJV) says, "Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none."

What honesty, what weight. And yet, God’s love heals the reproach. The real journey begins when we recognize that our hearts are broken—but we don’t have to stay that way. His love restores us.

You don’t have to fix yourself. You just have to bring your heart—your real, hurting, unfinished heart—to the One who already knows how to heal it.

Step 2: Cancel the Lies You’ve Believed

Once you begin to recognize the pain, the next step is this: cancel every lie you’ve ever agreed with—knowingly or unknowingly—about your worth.

For years, I lived as though I had something to prove. I was desperate to be loved and accepted, but underneath it all, I truly believed no one ever would. That belief became my silent agreement. I tried to outrun the fear of rejection by working harder, loving harder, carrying others’ burdens—as if saving everyone else might finally prove I was worth saving too.

But we are not meant to be anyone’s savior. That weight is far too heavy for a human heart. And when we try to carry what we were never meant to hold, we crumble under the pressure.

You may have picked up roles, responsibilities, and emotional loads that were never yours. Out of guilt. Out of fear. Out of a desire to be loved.

But God never called you to live that way. In fact, He came to lift that burden from your shoulders. You were never meant to prove your worth—you were meant to live from a place of knowing it.

If your heart feels torn between needing love and fearing you’ll never be worthy of it, that’s the battle of self vs. self. And that battle breeds something far deeper than insecurity. It grows into self-hatred. But here’s the truth:

You are deeply loved. You are never too far gone. You are in the process of being made beautifully whole by a faithful God.

Jesus says you are worth dying for. And when He speaks, lies have to fall silent.

Step 3: Forgive Yourself and Receive Grace

This step may be the hardest—and the most freeing: forgive yourself. Fully. Finally. Without conditions.

This isn’t about pretending the pain never happened or ignoring the damage done. This is about choosing to let Jesus' forgiveness flow into your heart in the same way you believe He offers it to everyone else.

I had to learn that receiving Christ’s forgiveness isn’t just about salvation—it’s about healing. It's about allowing Him to touch the parts of your heart you’ve locked away in shame or regret. And it’s about releasing the bitterness that may have crept in along the way.

Because here’s something I’ve learned:
Bitterness cancels hope. It keeps us tethered to the past and blinds us to the beauty that still lies ahead.

Hebrews 12:15 warns us, "lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

Bitterness doesn’t just hurt you—it spreads. It affects your relationships, your work, even your body. But when you forgive—yourself and others—you create space for joy to return. You open the door for God to plant dreams in your heart again. You begin to believe that good things are still possible.

Jesus wants to replace the bitterness with healing, so that love can flood in. And when it does, your heart begins to feel light again. You’ll find yourself laughing without fear of the future. You'll begin to dream again.

And it all starts with letting go.

Before You Go...

If any part of this spoke to your heart today, I want to encourage you—you are not alone. Your story matters, and healing is possible.

Take a moment to pause and ask:
What lies am I still believing about my worth?
Where do I need to let go and let God in?

I'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts or prayer requests in the comments, or reach out directly.
You’re seen. You’re loved. And you’re being made beautifully whole—day by day.

What It Means to Have a Broken Heart